My boyfriend just got arrested for domestic violence and i dont know what to do.

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    Last night time, we got into such a small combat, however i was aggravated so I used to be packing a suitcase to go to my dad and mom. Then he got here upstairs and it is all such a blur, however issues escalated to the place he grabbed my cellphone (I used to be recording as a result of when this kind of factor occurs i have a tendency to gaslight myself rather a lot) and began choking me and put his foot on my neck. That’s when it hit me that I might die. Not on function bc i actually do really feel he is an effective man, however when he’s indignant, typically i really feel he would not eealize how indignant he will get.

    I referred to as my dad and mom and he even talked to them somewhat, blaming me for every little thing. He had a number of scratches on his face and chest from when he was choking me. I ended up making an attempt to get a resort for the night time, however I’m alone in a brand new metropolis and it was shut to 3. I couldnt discover one. So, I got here residence and slept on the sofa. He got here downstairs a number of instances to speak (typically he was agggressive, typically he actually appeared to care) and i even went upstairs to speak and apologize, however he blatantly referred to as me abusive and stated it was all my fault for getting him mad. This kind of factor has occurred with us earlier than and I used to consider him when he blamed me, however I’ve been on anti nervousness remedy for a number of months now which has actually modified how i react emotionally and I knew I did not instigate him.

    Well, we slept it off and i was planning on grabbing as a lot as i might and going to my dad and mom home and by no means seeing him once more. This morning although, the police got here. I suppose the neigbhors referred to as. They ended up taking him away in handcuffs. Its been a number of hours now and I am unable to assist however blame myself. Idk what to do.

    Update – hello everybody. i truthfully didnt anticipate to get so many responses and ive been overwhelmed to say the least. my dad is flying down quickly and we’re going to seize as a lot as we are able to and drive to my dad and mom residence. I’ll most likely lie low and go to remedy, and so forth. i am truthfully nonetheless in shock and processing a number of what has occurred. I do need to thank everybody who has been so variety. I did really feel actually responsible about him going to jail so a number of these feedback actually helped validate my emotions that i was in the best and not being loopy and I recognize that rather a lot. apparently his bail has been posted by his dad and the attorneys are usually not letting him come residence till my dad and i depart in order that’s good. I’ll most likely look right into a restaining order within the morning. thanks once more for all of the responses i really feel dangerous i couldnt reply to any individually, however im nonetheless processing rather a lot / crying / shaking idk. The worst factor is i have truly supplied to go to anger administration courses w him a number of instances and he by no means would even entertain it. however thanks everybody once more. /:




    Two issues so that you can do:
    1) lower
    2) run

    You’ve been given an opportunity to flee. Do it.



    Go together with your preliminary aircraft. Grab all of your issues and get out when you can. Don’t look again



    Resources right here:



    Talk to a therapist. If you might be within the mind-set the place you blame your self for another person CHOKING you and threatening to face in your neck and kill you you want skilled assist to pry that out of your thoughts.

    The proven fact that the neighbors referred to as the police was a blessing. Your boyfriend going to jail now’s higher than him going to jail later after he murdered you.

    It would not matter if he is okay and even loving the remainder of the time if he turns into lethal when offended.

    I’m glad you are alive BIG HUG.



    Run run run run run run run




    Good guys do not choke individuals. He is just not a great man.



    I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I actually need you to consider in the event you had a daughter and he or she simply went via this, what would you inform her? In all honesty, the abuse is simply going to be worse subsequent time. You ARE fortunate to be alive. Please don’t see him once more. Do not be alone in the identical room as him, if he has to get his issues or vice versa. Go get a restraining order. Do not look again. This isn’t an overreaction. You might have been killed and giving him one other likelihood is one step nearer to getting murdered.



    It is mindless accountable your self for his actions. The solely individual accountable for his actions is he himself.

    What you need to do is pack, go to your dad and mom, break all contact along with your ex, and begin therapeutic your self. I counsel remedy too, to information you again to well being.

    Good luck, if is not straightforward, however you might be completely price it. You have been fortunate, you possibly can have died. Keep your distance from him, as he should kill you. He will act all good at first, however then at one level he’ll resolve that you just did one thing and kill you.



    Perfect, you possibly can seize all your stuff whereas he is in jail, and by no means see him once more.

    Never. See. Him. Again.

    He may kill you at some point.

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