My best friend left me alone to go to a yacht party I wasn’t…

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+1768 – I recently took a trip with my best friend to relax. We were out at a bar having some drinks and enjoying our time together. A man all of a sudden sat next to my friend and started a conversation with her. My friend seemed to enjoy the guy and started talking to him. They were talking for like 10 minutes all while the guy was pretending I didn’t exist and wasn’t sitting with them. He didn’t even greet me and only interacted with my friend. He kept flirting with her and giving her compliments while I had to pretend nothing was going on and sit there awkwardly.

At the end of their conversation, the guy invited my friend to a yacht party that he was apparently having not too far from where we were. My friend asked if I could join them and what the dude did was disgusting. He straight up looked me up and down my body (still not having said a word to me) and straight up told my friend that she could only come. I felt fing dehumanized like a piece of meat and just wanted to leave and go back to our hotelroom. My friend then ‘asked’ me if it was ok if she went to the party for a few hours without me and told me she’ll meet up with me later. I just told her to do what she wants and got up and went back to our hotel. My friend didn’t return until 6am the next morning. I cried my eyes out and the only thing I wanted to do was take the first flight home, but we still had a day left on our trip that I pretty much spent pretending nothing was wrong..

I already knew that my friend was considered more “conventionally” attractive but the fact that I was excluded purely because of the way I look hurt. But the worst thing of all was the fact that my friend didn’t even have my back and dropped me like I was nothing. Another example of how women our still mainly judged for their beauty instead of who they actually are.

2022-08-06 11:43:56

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  1. Your friend is a jerk and stupid too. That arsehole coming up to her probably has saved you a lot of time wasted with her.

  2. I had a really similar situation with a bestie when I was 15. Turned out she was a shit friend in other ways too and the friendship didn’t last. You can do better.

  3. Idk bro she doesn’t sound like your friend, considering she did nothing to stand up for you and tell this guy what a jerk he was being. Also not to mention dangerous? Some random asking her to some party and she goes alone?

  4. That’s not a friend. Drop her. That’s bystander cruel behaviour and pretty messed up. Vanity is only cute when its confidence, not a huge ego.

  5. Apparently the opportunity to go on a big boat is more important than standing up for your friend.

    Get a new best friend.

  6. And that’s how you end up being trafficked.

    This girl is not your friend. Sorry you had to find this out during your holiday.

  7. Two takeaways from this:

    1. That child is not your friend. She’s a stuckup, entitled and emotionally bankrupt stranger without knowledge of compassion.

    2. She is an idiot. Who leaves with a stranger in a strange place to hang out on his yacht? This is how you get kidnapped, assaulted, murdered, etc. or leaves a friend alone to have the same thing possibly happen to them!

    The phrase “beautiful idiot” springs to mind with her.

    Don’t take what happened against yourself. I know it hurt and it probably haunts you but you’re letting that guy take power from you and HE KNEW THAT. He did it on purpose to separate her from you in order to get what he wanted. I would guess of you went you would have stopped things from happening or wanted to leave early and he would have lost his chance at getting her into bed.

  8. She’s not your friend. If she was she would have told him to go fuck himself and stayed with you. She’s just as bad as he is because her agreeing to go with just him is basically her agreeing with his sexist bullshit

  9. I have 3 girlfriends who are breathtakingly beautiful. Ive always been plain. Not a one of them would have left me in a scenario like this, and 2 would have probably decked him for the look and rejection. Get better friends.

  10. If any guy disrespected my friend that way I’d pour my drink over his head and tell him to cry to someone who gives af. She didn’t stop to consider your feelings for even a second. How vile. That ain’t your friend.

  11. Make her your ‘former-best friend’. Honestly, I had friends like that for way too long. Life got so much better once I let go of those ties.

  12. You mean, your friend was singled out to attend a party on a stranger’s yacht with who the hell knows who, and she was stupid enough to go ? Not only is she a total dick to you, she’s dumb as a box of rocks. Not friend material. She is lucky she returned in one piece.

  13. Why in the world was she even interested in partying with a stranger who took only minutes to make it clear he’s not a good person. That alone would make me seriously question her character. On top of that, I don’t think I’d be friends with someone who has such little regard for my feelings.

  14. This “friend” is not your friend, and that man is a human vomit stain. Fuck them both.

    Also, I will always maintain that it is very rude to exclude someone from a conversation in a social situation, never mind suddenly leaving them alone. That’s all just basic manners.

  15. Ugh. Sounds like the guy is a jerk and your friend is a bit naive. I would be concerned that she will show up at the boat and there will be no party and he will assault her.

  16. While the guy was bottom level disgusting, it is heartbreaking what your friend did here. Since you consider her your best friend and you certainly trust her enough to go on a holiday trip with her, the way she handled this is absolutely disheartening.

    I know internet advice tends to go the “break up”-way too easily. But here, you should absolutely reconsider your friendship with her. This friend of yours does not care for your feelings, does nothing to stand up for you when you need her to, both serious red flags in a friendship.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if your friend tried to gaslight you afterwards when you confront her about what happened and how awful you felt.

  17. Straight up, fuck that person. They aren’t a friend. What kind of friend would allow someone else to dehumanize you like that, and then go off with the person? Her going with him is an agreement of his opinion whether she meant it to be or not. She placed *a party* over your friendship. Do you really need that kind of person in your life?

  18. And if he had agreed to invite you? Would you have gone? If not, would you have been tempted? Could she have told the guy what hotel you were staying at? She had a key to the room?

    Not only is she not a friend, she could easily put you into dangerous situations.

  19. Sounds dangerous and the guy sounds sketchy. She’s lucky she made it off the boat. Now you can ditch her FOR LIFE

  20. Hey OP I agree with you it is disgusting to be treated that way, but I also think you dodged a bullet because the treatment you would receive or the expectations placed upon you a those yacht parties are generally pretty severe.

  21. At my most charitable I’d say maybe she has deep self esteem issues and acted poorly because she’s a victim to those issues.

    But regardless you don’t need that in your life. I’m so sorry you were treated like garbage. That dude was trash and your friend showed that she’s not in a place where she can ever have your back.

    I’m a guy but I’ve been in circumstances like this before (weirdly on BOTH sides of it). Except in some ultra unusual circumstances I would never accept a friend doing this to me. And in zero circumstances would I ever do this to someone I had taken a trip with. That’s awful.

  22. Sounds like you missed a terrible night.

    I feel for you, I’m not the kind of person who gets invited to yacht parties and if my friend had asked me I’d have said “oh yeah, whatever” and then cried my eyes out too.

    Your real friends wouldn’t have gone without you and told Mr Yacht Perv where to go. Was Mr Perv Prince Andrew by any chance?

    Nope, you dodged a bullet there, that sounds like a horrible meat market / sexual harassment fest. Sorry your friend isn’t that kind.

  23. When I was a kid, my dad took me and our nextdoor neighbor to a big city park to ride our bikes on the trails. They happened to be shooting a local campaign there that day and someone working on it approached him and asked if they could hire me. Just me. I didn’t know this till years later but apparently my Dad had said no, not unless they also included the neighbor girl. Which they actually agreed to. However, the final picture that was used was me front and center and my friend behind and to the right, not in focus. I never saw the photos till I was a teen and flipping through some old albums. Neither my parents or hers ever told us about it. I don’t remember much about the day other than the photography setup. I was more annoyed we missed the adventure course. But I can totally appreciate the efforts of both parents not to even bring that day up again or show either of us the shoot photos or campaign when it came out (as kids, we had forgotten about it the next day.) Something like that could have been so damaging for 2 little girls. In one it could have triggered a lifetime of insecurity and the other, a sense of entitlement or over confidence. Even tho it was done in a professional sense, what that person said in front of us was beyond rude and so harmful. Same as what boat dude did to you. And what your friend allowed.

    I’m sorry your friend was SUCH a shitty friend. That fact that she even continued to talk to someone who was so blatantly rude to you, or would even want yo be associated with someone like that, tells you everything you need to know about her. She is not a true friend, or at least, not a good one. You don’t need to be around anyone like that. Next trip, take it with someone who values their time with you. And don’t let one colossal dick make you question for a second your worth.

    Hugs OP

  24. 1. She’s not your friend
    2. That party would’ve sucked anyway.

    Hope you ditch her when you get home!

  25. You consider her to be your best friend and she doesn’t stand up for you. Disgusting behaviour from both her and the fuckboy.

  26. Unpopular opinion here, but you should’ve been honest with your friend about your feelings and how you’d feel if she went without you. It would’ve been an opportunity to check her, too. You can (& arguably, should) be mad at the man for being an asshole, but you told your friend she could go when she asked. You can’t have it both ways. Now if she still went after you told her how you felt, then she’s a piece of shit friend. Either way, I’m sorry you were made to feel this way. It’s sucks.

  27. This is literally the start of many horror movies. Girl gets invited to strangers party, goes alone and …… spoiler: nothing good ever happens.

    She sounds like a shit friend and a dumb one at best.

  28. Your friend sucks. Distance yourself from her when you get home, and spend more time with “real” friends. I would probably ghost that friend for life.

  29. I presume she’s not your best friend anymore. Aside from being super rude to you, going to a party alone where she knows no one is really not a smart thing to do.

  30. Yeah she ain’t a friend, she also sounds kinda dumb, being cool with a guy blatantly seeing you both as objects. She can fuck right off.

  31. Sounds like your friend is not actually your friend if she is gonna ditch you for a random guy while on vacation

  32. As soon as you get back home set about rearranging this friendship out of your life. You are worth more.

  33. Your friend has been treated like piece of meat and accepted that because it fitted her fancy, you can’t be further from feminism than that.

    She’s stupid and shallow. The whole scene is revolting for the both of you, no matter the outcome.

    She should be ashamed.