I fucking pegged you!!!


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+2670 – I woke up at 4:00 am to a couple having a screaming match in the middle of the street (lucky me for having a apartment facing a main road). Out of the blue, the lady shouted “I FUCKING PEGGED YOU!!!” Multiple times. This has me wondering, what’s some of the most random stuff you heard someone say as they have these ‘civil’ public discussions?

2022-08-06 15:09:30

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  1. At download festival about 10 years ago, laid in my tent trying to sleep.

    2 lads stopped outside my tent one of them goes

    Look, I’m sorry I shagged your sister but I’m not drinking a glass of your piss.

    They then walked off and this snippet of conversation has been stuck with me ever since

  2. I once overheard a bus domestic that finished with “I’d rather do the Great North Run than do you again”. Must’ve been a good ten years ago now and I still think about it fairly often. Sensational.

  3. “You can’t fuck me hard, I forgot to bring my pills” heard this week in the evening from a hot tub next door to us while staying in a cabin by a lake in Wiltshire.

    Edit: we both assumed contraception but could not fathom exactly how that relates to the first part.

  4. I was in a pub having dinner with my girlfriend, there was football on the TV.

    There was a couple on the next table over and the fella was keeping an eye on the score. After a few minutes his female dinner guest screamed, “THERE’S A CRISIS IN THE MIDDLE EAST, JAMES AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THE FOOTBALL!”.

    The wife and I still randomly shout out, “THERE’S A CRISIS IN THE MIDDLE EAST” 15 years later.

  5. Stayed at hotel with fairly thin walls once and heard very strange slurpy and knocking noises from next door ending with a ladies voice saying ‘right I’ve done what you wanted now where’s my sandwiches’.

  6. Overheard in a pub toilet once: two girls having a huge scrap. One screams at the other “you think you’re so much better than me don’t ya? Well at least I haven’t got four fucking kids by five fucking men”. Still scratching my head over that one.

  7. “So I told him, if he wants to stick it in my arse, he can buy my lamberts, it’s only fair”

    I loved working in pubs sometimes

    (For those who don’t know, lambert and butler are cigarettes)

  8. I was on the bus once and overheard a guy say to his friend, “I’m a dirty bastard with a dirty dick”

  9. Overheard 2 old boys (pensioners at least) chatting in the Barras market in Glasgow while I was walking past. First one goes “Did you pump her” and his mate responded with “aye, aye she was one of them squirters”. Missus and I still laugh about it.

  10. ‘Technically, technically he’s not my brother so I shagged him’ said one girl. ‘But you have the same Dad’ replied her friend. Incest at its finest.

  11. Overheard two girls having a chat in Welsh on the tube in London. One was explaining in graphic detail what she had got up to with a guy she met the night before. Apparently he was hung like a horse and she was quite happy to have it up the bum.

    When it was my stop, they moved out of the way for me, so I said “diolch” (thanks, in welsh).

    Her face was a peach

  12. Mansfield highstreet, some bloke shoutin at a traffic warden, YOU FUCKING YOGHURT!

    Me and the mrs still use this.

  13. Stood at a urinal in a pub and could hear 2 men’s voices from the cubicle. The conversation went along the lines of

    “Does something look wrong to you”

    “Yeah you should have a doctor look at that. Don’t take chances with your balls”

    Solid advice in my book

  14. Yesterday I passed a group of elderly women chatting while I was out for a walk and the only bit of their conversation was “Oh yes, I forgot to mention I had a camera up my bum the other day”

  15. Used to live in Chandos Halls of Residence on the north campus of Uni of Manchester in 2005/6. It overlooks the line that stitches Manchester Piccadilly and Oxford Road together and the railway arches were a “handy” spot for the local prostitutes to service their clients.

    One evening, the halls were awoken to a prostitute loudly trying to settle her debts with a drunk guy by offering her services to him but it seemed he was too trollied to perform.

    She started coaxing him with a gentle “go on, David, go on, you can do it” to which 30+ students hanging out their windows started hollering in support “GO ON, DAVID, YOU CAN DO IT, MATE”.

  16. Heard my former next door neighbour shout to his kid one morning: “Fuck off, you inbred little shit!”

  17. Two lads having a playful argument in the cinema, one says to the other, “fuck you, I hope it hurts when you die”. I think about it often

  18. In a public toilet and I hear two panic young female voices in the next cubicle “I can’t believe I’m taking a test. I can’t be pregnant. I can’t do this” ” You need to know, c’mon take the test.” “I can’t, I’m scared. You take it for me!”

    I really hope it was negative… that poor kid.

  19. One day I was shopping in Iceland store.
    This was in a area that’s abit run down.
    A woman came in. On her phone speaking very loud. The whole store could hear….the whole store stopped to look at her when she screamed down the phone

    “Fucking drop me a 20bag of weed round to my house now of ill punch your head in’

    Classic Birkenhead.

  20. On a half full District line tube a few years back & a young lady was having a loud mobile conversation with a friend about her ex.

    ‘’You see his Facebook about he made his new girlfriend so sore she could barely walk straight the next morning? We’ll, boy YOU NEVER MADE ME SORE’ the last bit so loud I could overhear halfway up the carriage.

  21. Lived in a HMO. Heard some belters

    “How the fuck were you in the army you got it in my eye my hair and my fucking ear” yeah it was jizz. I was howling.

    “Fuck sake stop pissing” lass brought a drunk guy home apparently pissed the bed.

    “No I’m not that kinda girl I’m not doing anything with you I don’t even know your last name” followed by “look I’m only wanting my hole not a fucking marriage” followed by a slap.

    The HMO was right outside a club as well so we got some fucking wild stuff going on.

    “No we aren’t doing that I got shit on my knob last time” has to be a top one.

    “I hope no one can see us from them windows” “no don’t worry it’s all abandoned” “James I can see some cunt in the window” “ACH let em watch I’m no shy”

  22. “Your grandchild is the result of a gangbang and your daughter is a whore”.

    Loved living next door to a very sweet old couple.

  23. Leyton tube station, a good few years ago now. Can’t remember if it was before or after the Olympics, but that sort of time. Either way, before the wave of gentrification that the area has had since (yeah, I joke).

    Early one summer evening, a lady, holding a can of cider, squats down by the security fence.

    “At’s it, I can’t fackin’ old it, I’m avin’ a piss.”

    Her friend remonstrates with her; perhaps suggesting that doing it in public is unseemly.

    “It’s my fackin’ cant, I’ll do wiv it what I want!”

    *Quite.*

  24. Overheard at a taxi rank on a Friday night
    “I’m gonna shag me the biggest fat bird tonight”.

    Stay classy Lancaster.

  25. Walked past a couple and the woman said to the man “well if you didn’t drink so much you wouldn’t keep shitting yourself”

  26. A small group at a local beer garden where one person stood up and gave a little speech congratulating his girlfriend on becoming a grandmother at 27.

  27. Couple who lived next door having the LOUDEST sex possible. She was literally screaming. After they finished she then said “I’ll go & get the ice pops” not sure whether they were gonna eat them or stick them up her fanny 😅

  28. Was sat on a bench in the middle of a busy city centre at Christmas time, with a teenage girl sat on some steps nearby. I could hear her talking on a phone and fiddling with something in her lap. She was getting more and more frantic and eventually said “oh my God… I’m pregnant…”. After a dramatic pause she started hysterically shouting “STOP LAUGHING, STOP LAUGHING” down the phone.

    I sometimes think about that child. They would be around 2 by now

  29. Shouting match overheard coming from a garden separated from ours by a railway line and some trees…

    Male voice – ‘Why don’t you just go suck his dick again then, eh? Go on!’

    Female voice – ‘Maybe I will, at least I can find his, you fat twat!’

    (Big silent pause)

    Male voice, even louder – ‘Tell him there’s no way he’s keeping my Xbox now, I want it back!’

  30. Saw a couple having a row. He turns to walk away, steps into the road and gets hit by a car. Flew a good ten feet down the road. She didn’t even look in his direction, just leans in the car window and yells “don’t worry, the bastard always lands on his feet” and walks off.

    In fairness the guy shook it off and walked away a few minutes later. So she had a point.

  31. ‘I only hit you because I love you’

    You could sense the collective intake of breath from the entire street of curtain twitchers

  32. I was zoning out while at a hotel bar in the US with some friends/colleagues, when one of them (a guy from Liverpool) casually mentions how he used to babysit Paul McCartney.

    It broke through my zoning out and I questioned him further, at which point we all laughed. This led to us having a blast for the rest of the week watching him tell random Americans in the bars how he used to babysit Paul McCartney, and watching them ask questions like, “Really?! What was he like back then?”, being sure they were 100% genuine.

    The guy is 35 years old.

    One of the best weeks of my life.

  33. Two elderly ladies on the bus years ago. First lady “no he never! You poor thing! ” Second lady ” he did! dirty bugger! and what’s worse I saw him doing it to the budgie too! “. Never knew the context and I am going to die frustrated.

  34. When I was about 12-13 I was walking back from school with another lad and this random guy walked past us, turned his head and said “She’s no good for you Frank” and carried on walking. Absolutely no fuckin idea