32 Comments
  1. I’m so sorry they were terrible and your boss shouldn’t hav even mentioned they called, much less taken your tip back. However, you should never offer any kind of medicine to anyone, even if they ask for it. The liability here is huge. I only say this so you know next time.

  2. They can’t demand a tip be taken from you like that. They left it, end of story. The fact that your boss made you give it back is grimey AF.

  3. Never offer a customer medicine. If they have a reaction, it’s trouble.

    NTA

  4. Piece of advice, (with zero judgement bc this sounds like a nightmare table) don’t serve obnoxious customers that much alcohol. It does not make the situation better, and more often than not it will make it worse.

  5. These people are fucking insane. You did not owe them anything. People like this see an opening and attack, screw them.

  6. As I was walking away, I heard a man say that he had fallen and hurt himself. This is where I messed up.

    You know this, learn, now you are better equipped for the next situation. Respond slower to weird stuff. most of the time, try to stick to the script, unless it’s obvious it’s up to you to save someone’s life.

  7. Families do this when they don’t have good coping mechanisms. Husband is a nurse and 1:10 Families with someone dying are just completely unhinged and insane. Evil.

    Everyone is out to harm them and they’re not doing enough for their loved one.

    It’s usually the result of one family member being domineering and controlling the others. Rather, controlling the narrative so they get what they want. Attention. Power. Inflated self importance.

    The end result is chaos and insanity as family members can’t collectively get their emotional shit together and appropriately deal with such a situation without guidance from the controlling member.

    That family was shit. You know not everyone is like that. My husband knows its really hard to shack those Families off. He’ll struggle for weeks about such interactions. Worse, because he’s one of those nurses that isn’t a psycho asshole- he’s in demand when people are about to pass as he handles Families and patients the best.

    These Families will literally shit on their own faces then get mad at the world for letting them do it.

    Don’t take it to heart.

  8. That skin cancer stuff is bullshit. I have cancer myself, and it would be one cold, frosty day in hell before I weaponized to damage someone else.

  9. I know you’re trying to help and that was super kind of you. But it’s a huge insurance liability to give medicine to guests. You seem very kind and you’ll have better days. Just don’t give guests medicine.

  10. What awful people! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this, but it sounds like you did all the right things. Cheer up, and forge ahead!

  11. I’m sorry. Hugs. ❤️

  12. What some people dont realize is that she most likely had to PAY to wait on them by tipping out bartenders/staff etc. She already apologized and felt terrible about the whole thing. They stayed waaaaay after closing and then called back to rescind the gratuity.

    ​

    ON THANKSGIVING.

    Sometimes humanity just sucks.

  13. $30 on a $510 meal YGBFKM

  14. “Oh you feel your 6% tip was too much on thanksgiving? We’ll make sure to give you back your 6% thanksgiving tip. Just so we’re clear it was $30 ? That’s 6%. on the $500 bill where you got everything you ordered. On thanksgiving. Yes I remember it now, we all do. because of the $30 on $500 was 6% and none of us had ever seen anything quite like that, let alone on thanksgiving.

  15. I’m sorry they treated you poorly but please don’t offer medication of any kind to anyone. You’re just opening yourself up to trouble.

  16. “You look like you’re in pain, can I offer anything to help?”

    “No, how fucking dare you try to help me you fucking bitch!”

    … What kind of piece of shit thinks like this?

  17. You made your offer to help out of your goodness and kindness. Cancer is no excuse for being a dick. Even though you took excellent care of them they shorted you on the tip by at least $45.

    All because of your kindness.

    They are wrong people.

    You need to own that you were being a good and caring server. You were trying to help. We all make mistakes (and I know you won’t offer meds again), but you more than made amends for your misunderstanding.

    Own who you are! You are a caring, compassionate human being who was mistreated. 🦆 them!

  18. You’re gonna be OK @op. It’s an embarrassing moment and at the beginning you were probably in the wrong, but it was their decision to be jerks about it, especially when you apologized and explained your reasoning and they said he has cancer. Obviously if you had known you wouldn’t have asked. If it makes you feel better one night I asked a girl with crutches how she broke her leg. Turns out she had cerebral palsy. I’ll never forget the embarrassment and I’m betting you will never forget this either. Sometimes it’s better just to keep your mouth shut 🙂

  19. I had skin cancer. It was rough, but I didn’t take it out on anyone else.

  20. Those people were dirtbags and were looking to scapegoat someone. I feel bad for their kids. The next time you feel that urge to be overly solicitous to appease unreasonable shitheads, just don’t do it. A simple apology saying you misunderstood is enough. Anyone who wants you to bend over backwards for a simple mistake is being abusive. Have you ever heard of RSD? You sound so much like me and I dealt with those kinds of reactions for years, for me it’s flashbacks. Big hugs, I hope you get a make up Thanksgiving dinner.

  21. My wife has worked in the restaurant business for years, she works with me now in our business that we own, but she would come home with stories of people spitting food in her face, throwing food, temper tantrums, etc. now that the economy is so overwhelmed and peoples financial stability is all over the place, it seems more people definitely try to put on a show to get out of paying for their food (or service). Not saying this is the case here obviously, but as a server I can imagine it’s getting worse and worse every day. The key she used to tell me for her, was never to take it personally- everyone has an opinion of what they want, if the rest of your customers have no complaints, and it’s one off’s she would just put it in the back of her mind and chalk them up to “Aholes” sorry that happened to you on a holiday!

  22. This is why I don’t talk to my tables.

  23. Your manager is not a nice guy if he took the $30 back…

  24. For future reference, I know you are being a nice person but don’t offer guests any sort of medicine. If you aren’t a manager, or a medical professional, you can find yourself in hot water and you never know what sort of drug interactions you might inadvertently cause. I’m a nurse and I make it a point never to do that. I don’t even offer a band aid unless a customer asks me.

    That being said, I’m sorry this happened. You didn’t mean to do anything to insult the man. I think they just wanted to be angry.

    My husband is 40 and going through kidney and lung cancer, and I promise you it would be the farthest thing from any of our minds to take offense from a server who sounds like a young girl, and make her cry because she made an honest (and very well intentioned) mistake.

    It’s going to be okay. They are ass hats.

  25. Never offer medication to a table.

  26. You don’t legally have to give your tips back to a customer. I’d refuse and say sorry, you gave it, it’s mine. Almost any court would agree that once they give you the tip, it’s yours. If your manager made you give the tip back, contact the Labor Board. That’s illegal as hell.

    You should **not** be offering meds to a customer. It’s just your job to serve the food and that’s it. Try to be more emotionally detached from them. You don’t need to know if they are in pain, hurting, have disease….none of these things are your problem. That may sound callous but it’s true. They probably ripped into you because they saw you were a sensitive person who could be hurt easily. If a customer says “I have cancer” say “I’m sorry to hear that”. That’s all you need to say. You are not their therapist. You do not owe them anything other than putting the food on their table. Period.

  27. Oof you made a pretty bad mistake- don’t get personal or offer things off menu. Certainly don’t offer medicine! That’s not your place. Still, they are truly horrible people. So I’m kind of glad they had a memorably bad experience. They made it so much worse than was necessary. Once they knew you had misheard them, they should have dropped it.

  28. Wait. You offered a water or ibuprofen and they got mad at you? For being kind, considerate and thoughtful? Please don’t stop being you. Go to bed tonight knowing you are a GOOD human being. A kind, considerate, thoughtful human being. And we need more of YOU in the world.

  29. I’m so sorry that happened to you. You were trying to be kind and it backfired. I feel awful for you. Please don’t take their cruelty to heart, you did nothing wrong. If they couldn’t understand that, that is THEIR problem. I hope you get to enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend with people you love. Happy Holidays

  30. I feel like no one handled this well. I don’t know how to say this softly but I swear I mean it softly- don’t offer a solution to a problem you have not been directly told about or asked advice on. Stay in your lane, don’t make assumptions and mind your business. Your table was talking amongst themselves. They did not include you in this Convo and because you just grabbed part of what was said and ran with it, a person going through cancer treatment who was already self-conscious was made to feel worse. The party calling your tip back was completely uncalled for as well, imo.
    All of it- the blunder, the loss of tip, etc. would not have happened if you didn’t insert yourself into their situation.

    I feel for you because in the past I’ve made situations worse by trying to help when it wasn’t my place- more than once.
    Learn from this, don’t be like me and stick your foot in your mouth to your tables another 5 times before you realize what not to do.

  31. First off, fuck these people. He’s an asshole and so is the rest of them.

    Second, coming from someone who has a noticeable ailment, and I say this gently: please do not point it out in anyway. It’s uncomfortable when you have person after person if you are okay and need help, when you just need them to treat you normally.

    This guy took it to the extreme and I hope karma kicks his ass, but let it be a lesson in life: ignore anything out of the ordinary medically speaking, unless you are their licensed medical professional.

    It’s very sweet of you to offer but like others have said: at worst giving them something for the pain is a liability suit if they accept, and at best you just reminded someone that there is something not right with them.

    I do want to stress, this is not at all your fault, they are the assholes, and I hope they have shitty service wherever they go from now on.

    I hope the rest of your server job is filled with high tips and easy days.

  32. Reply
    smalltown_dreamspeak November 26, 2022 at 4:32 pm

    Assuming the skin cancer bit is true, I can see both sides here. It’s not right for the family to tip you badly and CERTAINLY not right for them to demand the tip back, but at the same time… If his face looked bad enough that you thought he’d hurt himself, he’s almost certainly having a rough go of it. Cancer is potentially lethal and very terrifying; this man has to be reminded of his own mortality every time he sees his reflection, and not everyone handles that with grace. Sometimes people who are hurting and scared lash out at imaginary enemies.

    It was really sweet of you to hear that someone was in pain and to take action to fix it for them, even though it wasn’t your responsibility. It sounds like you have a sensitive heart. You definitely deserve better than to have your holiday ruined by someone else’s insecurities.

    For your own safety, in the future, it’s best not to offer medication- even OTC pain reliever- while you’re operating in a business capacity. It seems stupid, but sometimes people will take something they aren’t supposed to take, and it could come back on you. It’s extremely unlikely, but not impossible! And unfortunately, with people, you always have to plan for the worst.

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