1. My gf text message broke up with me. 24hrs prior we were best friends and did everything together. Instead of communicating why she was unhappy like we have been doing, she moved her shit out while I was at work. Uprooted our son and I haven’t seen either for a month. “I’m just not ready to talk yet.” 35yrs old this woman. My whole world turned upside down. I have till the end of apr to find a new place to live on $17 an hr. I don’t enjoy anything, the whole world has a grey haze to it, Suicide might not be THAT bad, alcohol helps me sleep, weed helps me function at work. Internally I want everything to end. I walk by my glock in the closet everyday and it calls to me, beckoning me to accept I am a failure and to just end it. And everyday I tell my hand cannon “maybe tomorrow.” I feel better than I did yesterday and I will feel better tomorrow. I keep saying that to myself and the gun gets quieter and quieter.

  2. I’ll tell you this is absolutely true.

    I had a great life. Everything was going pretty well.

    Then a psychopathic child molester took an interest in my mom. Fast forward 3 years when my twin sisters are 7 (I’m 24 yrs older than them), the baby says my moms boyfriend been touching her and the the other twin says the same thing.

    Our worlds evaporated in an instant. I spent the next 4 years prosecuting him in court. Went to trial. And he was found guilty of all seven counts and sentenced to 150 years to life.

    I’ve spent the last 3 years fighting appeals and his case was rejected by the Supreme Court a few months ago.

    I’ve come out of the dark to the other side. I wanted to die for a long long time. He took something from us I can’t begin to describe.

    Appreciate the light. Relish in the fact that you haven’t seen the real real blackness. And if you have, you know you are a warrior no one can take down again.

    This really started off my morning hopeful again because it’s a reminder when it feels dark. Thank you.

  3. I’m on a streak of those since I decided to fix some major toxic traits of mine. It’s really difficult mentally, but I sometimes have short moments of pure happiness and I know I am on the right path.

  4. Beaten by both parents. Father alcoholic, wanted his kids to have the freedom he never had. Mother to counter him, became control freak tyrant. I had responsibility over my brother at school, he used to go to the principal a lot. I bullied his bullies and him. Lot’s of fights with other kids. By the age of 12 i had already done, handball, guitar, piano, choir, English, german, basketball, gymnastics, bowling, rowing, swimming, each for at least a year. I had too much energy, they couldn’t handle me. No freedom, only mother’s orders. Because i bullied my brother, my mother to counter it basically bullied me. I remember one day going to the village with my parents and was counting the black marks my father’s belt had left on me. Seems so strange now. Father’s mother was in constant battle with my mother. Both fierce women, control freaks. My grandma had a lot of “minions” i called them. She was manipulative woman, alcoholic. If she didn’t had alcohol, her bipolar personality(kind of a joke, not sure what she had) was ugly to see. Lot’s of rage. Lot’s more stuff, the point being:

    I started running at 25. I felt free. Nobody could reach me. Became obsessed. Was with a good girl at the time. One day i went to work, i looked me in the mirror and said “i love you”. It was like i woken up. Been going against my darkness ever since. The darkness is like a bully, and i look for a fight.

    Have a good relationship with my parents now. Father stopped drinking, mother stopped trying to control as much. They took have darkness and have done battles. I forgave them.

    Don’t fear the darkness. At the end of it, if you go far enough, there is a bunch of light.

  5. One more day to the next day;

    I’ve fought suicidal ideations my whole life, to the point that after 6 attempts, I planned my entire career around ‘veterinarians have easy access to euthanasia’. It’s been a bumpy ride.

    I still struggle with those thoughts, but at least I’m at a point I decided it was worth fighting for; this fall I’ll be going back to school to start a program I wanted to but hadn’t let myself go into. Starting a bachelors-to-masters program in applied physics this fall. I worry about the money; I’m still 70k in debt for the first degree, but I figure it’s worth figuring out ❤️

  6. My son committed suicide in 2016 he was 15 years old. It’s absolutely a difficult thing to do, but life is still beautiful and worth fighting for.

  7. The human mind is fucking crazy. That dark place it takes us to. It’s not even possible for me to remember how dark it was when I was there because there was nothing. If anyone is currently in a deep dark place, all you gotta know is you gotta keep going.

  8. Most people are trying to push others in.

  9. Reply
    coffeenpistolsfor2 April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    I just did that. I have a long history of putting myself in a dark place, blaming myself, and some suicidal thoughts but I got a bit better lately. I almost make a big scene an hour ago but turns out all I need is some alone time and reddit. Feeling much better now and see this post. Perfect timing. Thanks OP!

  10. this is the absolute truth, I had depression due to being in an emotionally abusive relationship, living in a country I HATED everything about and had fallen into financial hard times as my company was bankrupted by the local government. (corruption). Sold all i had , paid my debts got divorced and moved to a new continent with $125bucks. proceeded to “get the girl” that had been the best gf I never had and my only regret is not doing it sooner.

  11. Reply
    General_Amount_6918 April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    Thank you

  12. Reply
    halfanothersdozen April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    Reach out to someone. It helps to not do it alone.

  13. Reply
    Heartless_Absinthe April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    Spent some time packing up my things today, I’m moving away from a toxic relationship after 3+ years.

    I have people to vent to but, it only goes so far. It tends to overstay it’s welcome very quickly.

    Today I have to get through it alone. It’s nice to see this post and remind myself that I will be okay.

  14. #Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!

  15. What do we say to the God of depression “Not today!”. Maybe tomorrow

  16. I wish I could put it on a job application though.


  18. Got dam it’s beginning to feel like a weekly affair some days. But can’t stop moving forward

  19. Reply
    MaglcZombieCarpenter April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    Been doing it every day my whole life and I can’t understand why other people, by and large, cannot.

  20. Thank you that meant a lot!!!

  21. Thank you that meant a lot!!!

  22. I agree. My 15 year old sister has suffered depression for 2 years at least. My parents tried to help her through it, but it failed. She ended up committing suicide at the mental hospital she was admitted to two weeks ago.

    Mental illness is one of the worst enemies of humanity. People who get through this alive are strong as hell.

  23. Cheers to that, unfortunately I think this time around it will get the better of me.

  24. I needed this

  25. Reply
    NUCLEAR_DETONATIONS3 April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    Couldn’t have done it without Chuck Shuldiner

  26. Reply
    Horror-Education5994 April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    *I’m trying*

  27. Who? *Who* is proud of me?

    A random black text box on the internet? From a post that was probably shared on instagram in 2016 by a now inactive user?

    This is the epitome of cheap inspiration.

  28. This lack of capitalization puts me in a dark place…

  29. The reposts are getting more frequent? Are we coming close to a singularity of some sort?

  30. Reply
    No_Employment_129 April 5, 2022 at 2:34 am

    This whole thread is cringey as fuck.

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