Family belittle my military service

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+380 – I’ve done 7 years in the N.G. I’m the first in my family to serve in the military. In the last 7 years, I’ve mobilized to wildfires, COVID-19 humanitarian assistance missions, civil disturbances and have gone to many schools while earning two MOS‘s and a bachelor’s degree. This year I’m getting promoted to SGT in a combat arms MOS.

Now, my family (parents & siblings) consistently have belittled my N.G. service, calling it the “fake military,” calling it a “waste of time and money,” and pretty much say that I’m wasting my life serving in the N.G.

Unfortunately, my family doesn’t subscribe to the belief of service before self, or even understands the value in sacrificing for a cause. I’ve missed school (class), graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, parties, trips, lost jobs/career opportunities and money, and have had relationships and friendships ruined by my N.G. service.

I understand we are part-time Joes, but still
I’m super bummed that my own fucking family thinks I’m a loser for serving. I flipped out on them today after many years of being belittled and told them they just wouldn’t understand what it means to serve because they are worthless and only think about themselves (I yelled).

What would you respond? I’m a sad soldier.

Please advise.

2022-04-04 00:54:45

[+380] |

AD: Meet Dug.To: Next-Gen Link Management Suite [PROMO CODE: KCS.TOP

Comments

comments

30 Comments
  1. Bro we might give each other shit because that what real family does, but you share a special bond with only a small percentage of Americans that are willing to serve their Nation. Hold your head up and Fuck the haters! Keep on doing you!

  2. What’s it say next to your name tag?

    Does it say “National Guard”?

    No. It says U.S. Army.

    If you love serving and the Joe’s you serve with are good serving with you, then everyone else can eat a whopperito.

  3. You are an adult… you have the freedom to associate with who you want… **Fuck them**

  4. Hey brother. I wasn’t ever Guard, I grew up in the 82d; but my parents did the same shit. And it hurt. A lot.

    Two words for you that might be hard right now: FUCK. THEM.

    My Brothers were my family since day 1, and my wife has fit my jagged edges perfectly.

    Sounds like a joke but that part in Starship Troopers where Rico leaves home hits way too close to home for me. Pretty much just change the name (and add a couple siblings) and that’s my story. I went from cherished kid to going to basic w the stupid sling bag the recruiter gave me and that was it. My folks donated all my stuff to charity while I was gone. They probably got a tax write off.

    Long story short what it highlighted was that they’re toxic self centered people. And I had to accept that, and accept that I didn’t owe them shit. Even phone calls.

    I also learned that I’m WAY the fuck stronger than I’d ever imagined.

    I wish it wasn’t like this for you fam, because saying that your situation sucks rocks doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s your family, they shouldn’t be like that. But they are, and that’s just the way it is. Just remember, you didn’t do it, you didn’t cause it, you didn’t make them the way they are, and you can’t do shit to fix them. You don’t owe them a fucking thing. Live your best life.

    To this day it still stings though and there isn’t a day I wake up without wishing it was different. The only thing I can do is to work with my wife to make sure our kids don’t ever experience that.

    Save this post bro so you can remind yourself what’s up for the next while, and DM me if you need to unload.

    (Open invitation to anyone else in this situation as well. Apes together strong.)

  5. Tell them to eat a dick and learn some history – like the story of Roman General Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus went from being a farmer to general of the Roman legion and once the war was over – cause he kicked so much ass – went back to being a farmer. The model for all reserve military forces

  6. Reply
    Prestigious-Grand863 April 4, 2022 at 11:50 am

    Did 26 years in the NG as a 19D. Deployed 5x after 9/11. One weekend a month, 2 weeks a year my ass. Hold your head high brother.

  7. Tell them to suck a dick, man up, and put on a uniform if it’s so easy. Only active duty can give NG shit, it’s one of those “No one picks on my little brother but me” situations.

    For real though, fuck em.

  8. Its easy to sit back and criticize someone for doing something they probably don’t have the cojones to do themselves. Fuck ’em

  9. Reply
    Accurate_Reporter252 April 4, 2022 at 11:50 am

    Two things:

    1) The National Guard hasn’t been “fake” since before Desert Storm.

    2) People with no real idea what the military does or is and has had very little personal connection to service are not going to share the same values as a serviceman. Like you said, they don’t share your value system at this point and can’t make sense–within their values–of what you have done vs. what you could have done that they might value more.

    That’s okay.

    You have values and they are shared by other people. Eventually, they might recognize those values. If not, some of their kids (or your kids, if you have them) might and you just might start a family tradition of service that way.

    My dad and mom didn’t serve, nor did my uncles or aunts, but both grandfather’s did so that helped them understand me. I don’t think my kids will serve, although the (at least, current) youngest might but I have a brother in law still in the National Guard, a nephew that’s getting out of the Marines and going to college soon as well.

    Neither one of my parents graduated college either (nor grandparents), so I was the first there and my uncle got a bachelor’s later, so that’s another element to show kids and family to do as well.

    It might feel a little lonely, but you’ll be okay.

    That said, sometimes you need to let people think what they want and just live the truth you know so they might eventually learn…

  10. Reply
    red_devils_forever25 April 4, 2022 at 11:50 am

    Tell them to fuck off, pretty sure at one point there were more guardsmen in Iraq than AD. You telling me insurgents differentiate between guard and active? Fuck no. You served with honor and completed your contract.

  11. Your chest says “U.S ARMY”

    We all went through the same training. If you didn’t serve you can’t say shit about “oh well you’re not a *real* solider, weekend warrior hardyharhar”

    Send them to SM’s basement, they’ll get a taste of being a real soldier.

  12. Hey man, tell them to eat a fucking dick.

    Some wisdom from my man Dwayne Johnson that’s served me without fail:

    “Distance yourself from people who lie to you, steal from you, or disrespect you.”

    It sounds pretty cold blooded but what he’s getting at is that you shouldn’t waste your time on this earth allowing toxic people to hang out around you and leech your life force. You should spend it with people who are going to support and empower you.

    That’s still shitty though. I’ve parted ways with some toxic people who were very very important to me because of that. I didn’t think they were who they were. Then they showed their true colors.

    Fuck em.

  13. Your family a few years later: “wHy DoEsN’T hE TaLk To uS AnYMoRE?”

  14. Fuck them hoes playa

  15. Bucket of crabs mentality.

    Tell them they can suck my big active dick, sounds like you’ve served your country plenty, at the cost of your civilian priorities.

    The guard has been run ragged lately and probably done more directly for America than most active guys have done lately.

    Would I say that to any of my irl guard friends? Absolutely not of course, because guard lame etc, but it’s true.

  16. Reply
    Unfair-Homework9276 April 4, 2022 at 11:50 am

    They talk so much shit, ask them to sign and serve. Sure a little teasing now and then is healthy, but I don’t think your family appreciates you for what you’re doing. Just ignore the haters and keep getting your bread up. You get free healthcare and a yearly stipend that is equal to a bonus they drool over that they get every 5-6 years. Tell them to get their money up, not their funny up.

  17. RA Soldiers are allowed to make fun of RC/NG.

    No one else is.

    You’re one of us and always will be — doesn’t matter how often you have to suit up. At the end of the day, you have to suit up when it’s time. And that’s a significant commitment. More significant than an outsider will ever know.

    Not sure what to say to your family, but my advice is to always seek peace in your personal life. Our days, months, and years on this planet are limited. What peace we may affect in our personal lives is almost always worth it. Not saying you should compromise your integrity or honor. But sometimes you can just swallow your pride temporarily to keep the peace and then blow off some steam at the gym later.

    You’re one of us. Always will be.

  18. >the last 7 years, I’ve mobilized to wildfires, COVID-19 humanitarian assistance missions, civil disturbances and have gone to many schools while earning two MOS‘s and a bachelor’s degree.

    Dude you’ve done more in 7 years of part-time work than some active guys have in 4 years of full-time work.

  19. Who knows maybe they are jealous

  20. My advice is you should keep slinging those balls of yours. your family sitting there like paper weights watching the world go round because of someone else’s toil and trouble…

    NG gotta worry about civilian AND mil stuff. in some ways, it can be more difficult than AD lifestyle. regardless, they’re more content with backseating, so you should honestly leave them in the dust where they belong

  21. Reply
    Proper_Mulberry_2025 April 4, 2022 at 11:50 am

    The only thing you have control over is your reaction to their obvious ignorance. That being said, I’m proud of you. Even if I disagree with you on everything.

  22. Why do you care what they think? Toxic family doesn’t need to be in your life.

  23. “Everyone in the room with two bachelors raise your hand… now two bachelors and completed basic training and 2 ait’s and deployed 3 times to serve and help fellow citizens…. Anyone? Yeah, thought so. Scrubs”. *Drop the 🎤 and walk your bad ass out. 🍺

  24. You don’t owe them an explanation. If they’re not value-added to your life, cut them loose and move on. The best part of being an adult is that you can make your own decisions.

  25. I served 3 years NG and 3 years active. Both have their unique challenges, pros, and cons. AD will talk shit about the weekend warriors and NG will laugh that AD are all alcoholics on their 3rd marriage living in Fayettenam. It’s how it goes because at the end of the day both sides know the struggles and can relate. Assholes are judgemental, selfish, and don’t contribute much to society. Unfortunately they can also be your family. Your service matters to us here.

  26. “Never was so much owed by so many, to so few.”

  27. I say fuck them

  28. Be proud of your service to Country and your Community! Sadly, your family lacks the wherewithal to make the choice to serve, nor the understanding of how a Citizen Soldier can make a difference.

  29. Man, fuck them kids

  30. Remember, some people put others down to make themselves feel better. Once you realize they’re just insecure you’ll realize there’s little to fuss over, they’re just losers.

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